I arrived in Las Vegas last night. Again.
My mommy was waiting with a veggie sub from subway. I love her.
I had exactly 3 interactions with my stepmom, which is really really small in comparison to other times. And I physically saw her maaybe 6 times. Do you know how many of those three she informed me of something that made me want to scream? THREE. Because she can't keep her mouth shut. There is no turning her off.
Interaction 1: "Sooo. Let's see the tattoo.... well I like where you put it. Then nobody has to see it unless you're swimming!"
Interaction 2 (On the last day that I'm there): "Sooo Alyssa. There are these three new guys at work. And one of them is reeeeaally gay. Flamboyantly gay. He plucks his eyebrows and wears funny pointed shoes and bright colors like purplesss. And he wants to be my best friend! He doesn't want anything to do with the other two guys. They're on the company softball team, but he just keeps inviting me to the company fitness dance classes. It was really weird at first, but I'm getting used to it. Oh, and he has a mohawk. He doesn't even try to hide anything!" ....My response? "Good for him!" and she stopped.
Interaction 3: "Bye! No more tattoos." and a smile. That's the last thing she said to me as I was hugging her goodbye. Right. Thank you for making that decision for me. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. But now that someone who has no rightful influence on my decisions whatsoever has realized what a horrible mistake I've made, I'll make my choices a lot more carefully. Or better yet just let the church make them. Don't worry guys, I'm fixed again.
Some other numbers:
Number of books read: 2
Number of times I failed at Twister: 3
Number of times my brother JT called something "gay" or "faggot:" 5 that I heard
Number of times I promptly yelled at him: 5
Number of times I was told "Boys will be boys" by my father: more than enough
Number of times I thought about smacking them until they listened to anything anyone said: infinite
Number of times I pinned JT and twisted his arm: 1. He thinks he gets to make whatever decision he wants. And when I am around he is seriously mistaken. I warned him. He didn't believe me. After which, he threw a giant shoe at me, called me a son of a bitch, a fucker, and flipped me off.
Number of times JT got soap in his mouth: 1
Number of times I tried to escape to my uncle's and it didn't work: 3
Number of times I was asked to ride the 4-wheelers: too many
Number of times I got to eat food in the first four days: 3 (and two of those were because I went out with other family)
Number of times they ate fast food in a 7 day period (McD's, Wendy's, KFC, etc.): 4 or 5
Thank you for visiting Utah: Home of the wild pigs and self-righteous chickens
1 comments:
So reading your mom's comments made me very angry and wanna cut her head off and spit in the hole so I decided that this is how I would respond. Interaction 1: I know right? it'll look awesome when I go skinny dipping with my friends, I like to stare at myself in the mirror during sex too, it looks glorious and it really turns me on makes me cum faster (well... maybe i would hold off on the last part). Interaction 2: well handled I wish I could've seen her face :) interaction 3: "I was actually gonna ask you for a portrait of you so I can tattoo it on my arm..." Overall I'm sorry you have to deal with her.... another thing you could tell her that she's spending too much time trying to fix you, maybe she should spend some time fixing her son's mouth.. or is her church ok with cussing?
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