As the sun sets on the seasoned career of Oprah Winfrey, I must sadly inform Weird Floor of a parallel in the life of her namesake Oprah the late hermit crab.
Oprah is survived by roommate Jesus, a Coenobita cavipes exotic hermit crap, and her human care givers. In her abnormally long life she survived two bloodthirsty cats, a wildfire that threatened her natural habitat, and a life threatening ride in a rogue hamster ball. She was a devout Buddhist and I strongly believe that she will be reincarnated as a ferret or rabbit, definitely mammalian and much higher on the food chain. She began her life as a part of a social experiment to answer the age old question, "who is better, Jesus or Oprah?" it should have been a fair fight. But this tricky hermit crab didn't fight fair, she burrowed her way into my head and molted in my heart, there can be no clear winner. Jesus survives, but what is there for a true hermit of a hermit crab to live for?
1 comments:
jesus wins. again. dammit.
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