What happens in Guadalajara....

So what started as a lazy morning watching horror films til 3pm ended up being one crazy night. My cousin invited me to a friend's house to "hang out." Of course "hang out" among Mexican teens means "pistear" which consists of lots of discussions about nothing and lots of drinking.

So, though I hate beer and that's all they had, I decided to live it up. At some point the discussion went from futbol and Mexico's next game to how we as Mexicans going to "antros" (night clubs) and listening to trance music were honoring foreign cultures. Then we decided that nothing is better and more powerful than listening to mariachi music.

Since the people at the house we were at were ready to go to sleep we decided to go to this other guy's house where, after being bored and close to falling asleep on the couch, we started dancing to banda music while throwing toilet paper everywhere. It was great. Conveniently we were 3 guys to 3 girls so we decided to dance and switch partners every now and again which was a bit dangerous but entertaining. It was especially dangerous when I had to partner up with our ride who was a bit too drunk to dance and kept falling all over the place, but it was still hilarious.

Anyway... it was a great night and I got home safely at close to 4 a.m. Lovin Guadalajara and really getting the full experience of being Mexican. Hopefully I'll have more crazy stories to tell later...

Change Means Kissing Your Freedom Goodbye...

A political sentiment worthy of the former confederate! Only this gem comes to you from unbearably sunny San Diego ... County. It was conveniently located just down the street from where the tea party was protesting with signs saying things like "we're tea'd off." Clever.

On an unrelated note, I was at home depot today and I found a plant that closes its leaves when you touch them I have been entertained for no less than three hours. I also found a potentially rug for next year, it was a pretty nice play rug with a town on it, only 19.99. Roomies, we shall have to discuss this expense...

I've gone hiking twice this week. I'm gonna be real with you there isn't much else to do. I've decided that hiking is just a sad thing people from Ramona do to get a view of slightly more civilized Poway. Mary and I are going to go gym hopping, exploiting "first class free" offers to take kickboxing so that one day we can kick ass. More on that soon.

i awoke to find a city on fire

yesterday was awesome. last night was scary.

so we have a 4 day weekend this week. it has been exciting. yesterday, i slept in. much needed. then i got ready and headed out to meet my friend Lauren. We went to this awesome cafe/ furniture store. Yes, they are both a cafe and place to buy couches and chandeliers. Then, we headed downtown (El Centro) to meet Gladys. While waiting, we found another cafe/ art gallery. One painting had a girl running that said "Corre Puta Corre" or Run Bitch Run! It was awesome. Then we found Gladys (who had been asked if she was a prostitute). Then we walked around and found a movie theatre. We saw Toy Story 3. That movie was AMAZING. As well as really sad. But awesome. Then we found a restaurant that had a train. We ate dinner in a train, and it was sweet. Then we parted ways with Gladys to go home. This was where the challenge set in. It had begun to rain, but by the time Lauren and I got off the Tren Ligero (metro/trolley thing) it was pouring. We were sopping wet and damaged from hail by the time we got to a bus (because the only taxi we could find wouldn't take us, we believe because we were wet). We then got to a mall near my house, but it was kind of late and still very rainy so we decided against walking. Also, the water was as high as the curbs, in some places, quite higher. Needless to say, we were sopping wet. And of course, we couldn't find any taxis. None. We found one, but he said it was too dangerous. Then we finally found someone who would take us. He dropped Lauren off and then took me home. He then gravely overcharged me. That was sad. But I did get home, finally. It was an adventure. Quite an adventure.

oh! i forgot. While in El Centro, Lauren and I were trying to cross the street. This is quite the task here in Mexico. I'm 97.3 percent sure that there are not driving laws, restrictions, or guidelines. Literally, a lot of times, lanes are not marked. Anyway, the traffic was backed up on one side, so we went out to the middle, but realized that the traffic was still flowing on the non backed side. so we waited. and moments later, the backed up traffic was no longer backed up. so now there are cars driving (quickly) on either side of us and we are just standing on the yellow line praying nobody hits us. it was horrifying. and funny.

Please Beautiful Bethe Reed and Darcy

When I was young, and I asked for something from my grandma, she used to make me say "Please Beautiful Grandma." She rather enjoyed that.

But focus: How much convincing do I have to do get glow in the dark stars on our ceiling next year?

If we've already discussed this, pretend we didn't because I don't remember. :D

Weird floor, please feel free to share your feelings on this matter. I'm afraid this might cause a heated debate. (Of which I plan to prevail.) I decided it needed to be posted on here because I hoped I could get at least a couple of you on my side hehe.

A brand new addition to the old edition, with the love unconditional

So I just need to make it known to the world that my rotary phone is now fully functional. My uncle fixed it for me and we plugged it in and used it. It's got an awesome ring. My house doesn't have a land line or I'd tell you all to call me just so I could use it, but the thought counts.

I'm also slowly mastering the art of fried tofu. with Garlic of course.

Bethe Reed: my toes are teal. I'm very excited about this.

I think I've watched (and by watched I mean had on in the background of whatever I was doing) Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog about 4 times in the past week. If any of you haven't seen it, look it up. It's 44 minutes of pure happy. ...In the sense that Dr. Horrible is an evil villain played by Neil Patrick Harris who thinks the world is a mess and he just needs to rule it. But Captain Hammer keeps getting in the way.

I've decided Haruki Murakami is one of the best authors ever. Anthony I'm very very glad you read Kafka on the Shore. You need to read the one I just read. It addresses sheep in the same confusing yet fascinating way that Kafka addresses... everything. As in it really just makes no sense. And I suddenly know random sheep facts that I find far more interesting than they should by. Then there's the fact that the connection the book itself has to sheep is minimal. But it's entirely about sheep. ...I'm banking on your ability to understand what I'm saying right now.

Everyone, you should really read at least one of Murakami's books. Just sayin. I'm positive Anthony has said this before, and I've agreed, but I'm just restating it for increased significance.

Oh! And I acquired bows for my hair today. I've been searching for those bow clips that you see mostly on little girls, unsuccessfully. My cousin Avi doesn't wear hers anymore. Aunt Lori told me I could take some. I only have 2, possibly 3, but I'm still delighted by the prospect of using them.

My dearest weird floor

I have recently returned

from the Motherland

здравствуйте, я тосковалa без Вас.

That says "hello, i missed you." Well, technically, it says "I am grieved without you." but close enough.

So this is the group that went to Russia. There were a lot of us. I wasn't paying attention. Anywhoo, i'll get the pictures up on facebook when i stop being lazy, so that might take a while. The trip was sweet!! Tons to tell you all, but it was definitely weird being totally cut off from people for weeks!

smiled and said yes, i think we've met before

I just learned something that Gladys and I found absolutely hilarious. We were sitting around before classes and Chad had a spacey moment and I called him a bad RA (jokingly). What happened was that I had said something about Gladys, and since she was right next to me he assumed that I was speaking about somebody else since I said "Gladys" instead of "her." This lead him to confess that for the first semester, he didn't know Jacqueline was his resident. Then we laughed. And he tried to say that it was just a week. Or just the first month. But I have a strong feeling that he meant the first semester. Sorry, Jacqueline. But I think this is just an ode to 1. Chad's spacy-ness and 2. your complete business. Regardless, it was funny.

Also, Gladys and I explored today. That was fun. And then I took public transport home. Did I know where I was going? No. But Gladys that I needed to get off on this one trolley stop. That was enough for me. I stopped at a gas station and got directions from there. Pretty awesome.

**edit: I just noticed Di is following Weird Flog. Hell yeah ;)

One bedroom studio apartment.

I need one. Now.

For cheap.
Fuck.

Can't read my poker face

Over the past week, I, with the help of Daela (the director of Girls' State) and the other counselors, effectively convinced 100 seventeen year-old girls that my last name, though spelled "Black" is not pronounced as it would be assumed. In fact, there is no possible way that they could derive its "correct" pronunciation from how it is spelled. The phonetic pronunciation is as follows: "pink."

Yes, I am to be understood correctly when I tell you all that I told them my name was Alyssa "Pink" even though it is still spelled Black. One girl asked me if it was an English name. I told them truthfully that my family tells me nothing of my family history. 

You might ask: Why? Well, I can't remember. It's something we discussed last year at about 2 am when I was the only one up with Daela doing work. The same thing happened this year. 10 counselors/staff there this week, and Daela and I were the only two up til 3 and 4 in the morning doing things. Though.. We did watch Zombieland and Dr. Horrible and Glee and a couple comedy people during these nights, but that's beside the point. Mainly, we ran with the last name thing this year to confuse the hell out of these girls. It worked. They still don't know. We never told them.

I'm pretty positive I'm going to continue going to Girls State for a very long time. I suck at politics, but I like watching what these girls can do in a week, and we have a lot of fun. Plus I kind of signed a paper the other day saying I am now a part of the American Legion Auxiliary (which is what sponsors the program). There's a convention in Vegas next week. Probs going to that too. Why not? American Legion is entirely too patriotic sometimes, but I'm okay with that considering how it effects the people that attend girls and boys state. And I find politics incredibly interesting when I get the chance to learn about it.

Our staff is waay liberal too, which is always fun, especially when a resolution is introduced that adopts Arizona's immigration law rolls around. Yup. It happened. Actually made it all the way to legislation day too. Didn't get to see the debate unfortunately, but thankfully it did not pass.

I also realized that I have an amazing ability to convince anyone considered my elder or at least a few years younger than me that I'm awesome. Haven't quite figured out peers yet, but whatevs.

After watching all of the girls in a cabin become such close friends after 6 days, I remembered that we won't have weird floor next year and was sad. I miss you all. :)

Zompoc Survival

How fast do you think I would have to run to survive in the Zompoc?

I've been researching and there are many differing schools of thought on this subject. Some say that it depends on the zombies, either post death, were they fat slobs in their human lives, or post zombie state, have they been eating regularly and has it been lean human meat?

Another opinion holds that zombies would be faster in time, they would evolve within a month or two of being undead and at that point we're fucked.

Some think that they are the average speed of humans, but nowhere on the web seems to be willing to tell me what the average speed of humans is. However, if this is the case, I think I would prefer to be bitten in the obese land of America than anywhere else.

My personal opinion: faster than your slowest friend.

Finally, some think we would be faced with a dawn of the dead situation in which zombies are exceptionally slow and get their strength from sheer numbers.

Also, would it be better to work on sprinting or endurance or both? I can imagine a situation where both would be necessary.

I would appreciate input. I will continue to research, and I will be sure to share my results because my survival would mean nothing without weird floor.

P.S. I think we're all fucked in the event of a Velociraptor attack, so if there happens to be one, it has been nice knowing all of you.

vote to keep the terrorists at gitmo.

I know how much you guys are enjoying these little gems that I keep discovering on campaign posters. Stay classy, Carolina. On the bright side, we had our primaries yesterday, and the leading Republican (by 86% or something crazy) was a woman named Nikki Haley, and since Mark Sanford is as likely to be re-elected as this state is to elect a democrat governor, I'm thinking SC might be seeing a woman governor pretty soon. She's still a Republican, but either way it can't hurt to have our women's representation in politics go up. (Thank you for the precise stats on that, Alyssaree.)

In other news, I can't get a job, so I got a fish instead. Her name is Pauline, after Gary's mother who I've now visited twice. She feeds me awesome vegetarian food from Taiwan and tells me things about the Dao, although I think her religious beliefs are definitely more of a meshed version between Daoism, Confucianism, and Christianity, because she's sharing a lot of things with me about Jesus and my familial duties as well.

Job hunting is awful. No one is hiring. I even applied to be the Chick Fil A cow mascot (I was prepared to offer stats on cows being the largest contributor to global warming, booo McDonalds) but I got rejected there too. I still have my part time waitressing job at the Schwaben House, but that's just Friday and Saturday, and my boss is being really creepy (i.e. He told me to have sex twice a day to make my boobs bigger. This is not workplace appropriate.)

Also, the other day I was struck with the realization that my life is filled with very sad people. First there's my mother, and then there's Pauline and also Maxine, and now there's my friend John who is hardcore into hard drugs now and looking for a way out and I decided to try and help him because look what happened to Maxine when I just sat around and "let her work it out" because things escalate, you know? But it is not easy to help people who have drug problems and self-esteem issues and I would very much like to thank you guys for being the not-sad people in my life, because life is full of tragedy and it's nice that Weird Floor is not often tragic.

So I'm off to find a job and/or discover more campaign posters.
Miss you guys.

Beloved Amphibious Oprah 2007 - 2010

As the sun sets on the seasoned career of Oprah Winfrey, I must sadly inform Weird Floor of a parallel in the life of her namesake Oprah the late hermit crab.

Oprah is survived by roommate Jesus, a Coenobita cavipes exotic hermit crap, and her human care givers. In her abnormally long life she survived two bloodthirsty cats, a wildfire that threatened her natural habitat, and a life threatening ride in a rogue hamster ball. She was a devout Buddhist and I strongly believe that she will be reincarnated as a ferret or rabbit, definitely mammalian and much higher on the food chain. She began her life as a part of a social experiment to answer the age old question, "who is better, Jesus or Oprah?" it should have been a fair fight. But this tricky hermit crab didn't fight fair, she burrowed her way into my head and molted in my heart, there can be no clear winner. Jesus survives, but what is there for a true hermit of a hermit crab to live for?

don't call my name alejandr(a) just call fernando.

The other day, Jenni was telling me how she was excited to have made a new friend named Fernando. I proceeded to sing "Alejandro" by Lady Gaga (obviously). She then told me how her roomate, Alex (Alejandra), had done the same thing and they changed the words. I like it. Also, the Alejandro music video? Preettyyy interesting.....

Also, I'm sick and in a clinical trial to get better. You have to go every day. Today: you are definitely the worst case we've seen this summer. Your symptoms are normal... you've just definitely the sickest. If I can be counted on to do one thing: it is always getting sick. Awesome. So yeah, I still don't feel better. Boo.

Also, when they were taking my blood, the nurse asked what my tattoo meant, and I explained it was from a book when the doctor (med student, whatevs) looked up and was like "Haruka Murakami?" and I was like OMG YESSSSS. I was very excited to have met someone who knew what I was talking about. It was awweeessooommmeee.

I have said "Also" a lot.

Some fishy telenovela

So I've decided that if we fail at getting a bunny or any other kind of pet I'm willing to settle for fish. I always thought fish were boring, but my aunt has a fish tank with fish in it and they're actually very entertaining and calming, I enjoy it quite a bit. So since I'm in the mecca of the Telenovela I've decided to bring to Weird Flog the first original Telenovela.

The fish tank is home to 4 fishies. The main characters are two angelfishes. The white one I decided to call Angel because she looks more like an angel, the second I decided to call Stripes because he has stripes (I'm soo creative!) The other two minor characters are Jumpy and Tank-cleaner. (Oh and I decided that Angel is a female and the rest are all males.)

The two angelfishes are pretty much royalty, they're beautiful, big, shiny, and rule the tank. Jumpy is the annoying needy relative that always wants to do things with everyone. And the Tank-cleaner, he's kind of the servant but not really, you know that relative no one notices he's there. I will further explain the drama that's about to go down in this fishy telenovela....

Oh and totally unrelated... Alyssa!! I've decided that I like babies but only when they're cute and not crying so I guess that's a start. At the moment I still dislike any other kind of human being under the age of 17.

Study Abroad... GOOOOOO.

Can I motion to have everyone do their semester abroad Spring 2011?
I don't want to wait till Junior year. I want to GO!

And if we all went at the same time, that'd be swell.
I may just go... sooo... go with me :]

Or not. But do.

Cheap Sex and Beer

You will be relieved to learn that I survived another roadtrip. Directions in hand and compass on foot, Mary and I set off to surprise Emily in Santa Barbara yesterday afternoon. Emily turned 19 yesterday, she did not know we were coming, finals start tomorrow. Yup, she's welcome. I know what you're thinking - Darcy how selfless of you to surprise a friend like that - I know and don't worry I'd do the same thing for any of you, my dear weird floorers.

The Trip:
230 miles.
Google maps suggested route: US-101 (yes, bethereed, I stuffed my eyes with wonder again)
2 "devoted" friends.

The Destination:
University of California Santa Barbara (aka University of Cheap Sex and Beer, although I saw none of this, I think they should rename it the university of besties and dolphins but I see how that doesn't fit the acronym) It's literally on the ocean and I saw dolphins, not sure why I didn't go there. But, then I wouldn't have met any of you and that would be sad.
We walked on the beach, saw some hot surfers and then played apples to apples. They really do have finals starting today, I think. O well, not the fit of debauchery it could have been, but it was still pretty.

Return:
We got lost in Oxnard, apparently that is a common theme while on roadtrips.

Also, I got back from this trip and all the furniture in my living room was rearranged. Why? My uncle brought my sister a piano. Interesting.

Caution Darcy: Baby Pictures Ahead

RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!











This is the girl I babysit. Her name is Suriya. She is Greek and Thai. 

She's quite possibly my favorite baby ever. We watched Ponyo and Lilo and Stitch while we played with trains and cameras and a stuffed puppy. She also fed herself macaroni and cheese and fruit. She just sat there. And ate. By herself. She's like a superbaby.

In other news: My girls state delegates just made their city song to the song of Like a Virgin by Madonna.

This postsecret is made from a page out of my Wreck This Journal and it made me smile:

Adventures start when you cross the border

So a guess some stuff worth telling has occurred since the last time I posted, let me share a bit of what I went through. So it started when we were trying to cross the border to get to the Tijuana airport where we would be parting. We got stopped by US border patrol, a very cute officer btw, because my grandpa didn't have his passport or id on him and he was carrying like 1500 $$ they though we were worthy of being searched.

It was great, we were all laughing especially bcuz my grandpa is pretty old and very deaf. there was a lot of yelling and confusion but after they counted all of our money, including my 15$ (I know, I'm a high roller) they let us go.

So we made it to the airport carrying 6 suitcases for 3 people ( my mom likes to takes gifts -_-) and while we were waiting for our plane to board we met the awesomest 70 yr old ever. I don't think i got his name but he acted like hyper 8 yr old on crack, he was so active and hyper! he then told us a lot of info about his life.

So here's what I know about this man: He's from Michoacan, had 3 sons the oldest is 40 something and a real asshole. he has a wife that he's trying to bring to the states, he loves to work in the fields and showed us his hands with a whole bunch cuts. The rest I didn't really understand, he spoke really fast ( like an 8 yr old on crack) and cut off some words he didn't deem important but I did. He was able to take complete control of the conversation over my mom, my mom talks A LOT.

anyway there is more to come but I'm tired and my neck hurts. Let me just foreshadow a bit and say that today I successfully rode the subway to and from school by myself without getting molested by a stranger and with an injured neck (I expect to get some "fuck yeah!'s" regarding this cuz that's how I feel). Good night and love you all!!!

Where In The World Is Raskolnikov

Nope, not Carmen San Diego, its Raskol! Darcy's beloved best of a bike.

Darcy's bike is on a tour of local hot spots in the southern California area, lets see where he is this week.....

Its Ramona!!!! Lets see the local sites....

My house?? Who knew.

Chillin w/Carlita in the drive, they've really gotten to know each other during their time together.

My alma mater, go Coyotes!!

My more recent alma mater, whaddup dawgs!!!

Collier Park, where many a drug deal/childs play occurs.

And last but not least.......

Kmart! The hottest of the hot spots (unless you count the weather).

Lets tune in next week see where he goes next.

Maybe you should cut your own hair, 'cause that can be so funny

Small disasters. Meaning not really disasters, but instead random acts of stupidity that deserve to be laughed at. Brought to you by Alyssa.

Small disaster number 1 - I definitely got in the hot tub last Monday... with my phone in my pocket. How did I realize that I had just majorly screwed myself? Of course not by realizing what I'd done. Oh no. I wait for five minutes until something starts vibrating uncontrollably in my pocket. Yes. But is there a happy ending? Yes. My phone slowly gained back certain abilities over the next 3 days. It is now fully recovered and functional despite it's thorough drowning.

Small disaster number 2 - The next day I went to UNLV to sign myself in to my one class for the summer. They hadn't e-mailed me to say I was accepted in for the summer, so I figured I'd just go down and make sure and have them put me in the class that started later that week or next week. I get there at 12:30 and they tell me all systems go, so I go to register for the class... and what day did it start? It had already started. That day. and it was over. And I didn't have the class paid for or a book. So it would have been more expensive because I'd be paying late. Sooo.... no summer class for Alyssa. Miscommunication between the computer, two different people, and I. Brilliant. So instead I'm going to Girls' State as a counselor again early Sunday morning. A week surrounded by high school girls. Bring it.

Small disaster number 3 - Don't cry over spilt... nail polish? My toilet seat and bathroom floor got a make-over on Wednesday when I pulled nail polish out of my box and, well, dropped it. New color? Peru-b-Ruby. I mean.. it all came out except for a faint red stain on top of the toilet seat. But umm... I created this mess when I was cleaning. Like actually cleaning with sprays and stuff. Me. Alyssa. The non-cleaning one. Oh, the irony. And I don't even have pretty nails to show for it.


So there you have it. Thus is my life. I love it though.

I've begun my vegetarian cooking experimentation. We have a kitchen next year. We're going to eat real food. Tonight, I made Tofu Cabbage Soup (pictured on right). It was yummy. It needs more vegetables though, preferably carrots. Don't worry. Next time.

I've also secured somewhat of a job for the summer. Babysitting for my mom's best friend Noy. Her daughter, Suriya, is cute and well-behaved. Therefore, I'm looking forward to Friday Saturdaysand Sunday days and evenings this summer. Cute 2 year old and some income? Hell yes.

i'm in love with illusion, so saw me half

So today, my roommates and I went to a mall. Which is kind of weird, but it was close and was something to do. Because every other afternoon I just end up sleeping because my room is all warm and the perfect temperature to not do homework. On the walk, one of them was talking about how he noticed a lack of fresh air here in Mexico. That everywhere just seemed dusty. I had to inform him and his LA lungs that this was no fault of Mexico. Heat = Gross. The air hear is just like that of Vegas. Its heavy and bleehhhh. But it is ok. If I'm going to be hot, I might as well be in Mexico :)

Classes, those are pretty cool. Gladys and I are currently crashing a Latin Dance class because I don't actually want to take it and she is going to have a conflict when one of her classes starts. Main thing we have learned: Gladys and I are fail Latinos. We cannot dance. We were doing fine, but then she added a second twirl (oh yeah, the first was no bigs) and we got lost. It was horrible. Then she made us change partners so I had to dance terribly with someone I didn't know. Aweeeessoommee. Oh, and at times, she segregates boys and girls and we have to stand by height. Guess where I am? the front. oooh yeah.

Jacqueline, Gladys and I are basically ready to enter your competitions :P

I'm not doing my homework now. Mainly because the story I read didn't make a whole lot of sense. And we have class tomorrow :( Laaaameee. But whatever, after this week, we only have classes Monday-Thursday.

also, my host family makes very american food. which is interesting. This morning we had french toast. Yesterday: pancakes. And tonight, she (jokingly) made us eat like a thousand tostadas lest we go to hell for wasting them. It was pretty funny. Especially because my roommates speak not so great Spanish. So the majority of the time they have no clue what is going on (much fun).

Summertime

So I have been bad and haven't visited the Weird Flog for a week, and completely forgot to write. So here goes.

My summer in a nutshell so far.

Character introduction:
Taylor=Ex-boyfriend
Karlye= Taylor's girlfriend
Catie, Kaity, Meredith, Amanda, Susan: Best Girlfriends

Okay Story time:

Taylor and I had a chat. I wasn't allowed to contact Karlye (who hates me because of the whole unfaithful new years incident) but she sends me a message on facebook. "Jacqueline, In light of what has happened, I please ask that you respect the relationship that Taylor and I have, in whatever state it might be in." Taylor tells me that I shouldn't respond, even though I've wanted to say that same thing to her for the past umm four months. Controlling stubborn Taylor goes on to tell me that he doesn't want the two of us talking blah blah blah. Then goes on to tell me that when he looks at me he is pretty much disgusted because he thinks of all the trouble I've caused his relationship over the past month or so. I told him that I didn't know who he was anymore. He is a liar and a cheater and he told me countless times while dating that he could never lie to me let alone cheat on me. His response to that, "I can keep all my lies straight."

A person shouldn't have to say that. So my conclusion, people change. It's ridiculous. But he apologized "sincerely" for the way he's treated me and actually wants to work on our friendship. We'll see how that goes.

Karlye came to visit for an entire week last week, and I was forced to stay in my house. Great. Not exactly a fair thing for Taylor to say. I wanted to be with all of our friends, but Taylor told me to "please hang out with your other girlfriends" the whole week. Yeah so Amanda is in Santa Barbara/LA, Kaity was at a wedding in North Carolina, Catie is still at school in Santa Barbara with Meredith, and Susan is pregnant and works during the day and lives 45 min away.

So my friend Lauren (who dates his best friend and roommate at school Greg) was a complete bitch the whole time She made sure she mentioned that she was leaving to hang out with me in front of Karlye and everyone and such. I didn't ask her to do this, but whatever. I laughed a little later.

So that week is over thank god. Back to normal life and getting to see all of my friends again.

More updates later with more drama. Hopefully there won't be much.

A workday of sorts

Okay so since I've only posted once I felt I needed to post again, and also because I've been super busy for the past couple weeks...and also because I had quite the day at work today:

A number of interesting first-times here at SeaWorld, Shows Dept. full of obscenities, violence, and bribery.

Event No. 1: The "Sweet" Old Lady

While staffing a gate to our "Pets Rule!" show, I was in the process of telling guests that arrived late that they could no longer enter the stadium as the show was under way (for all you future SeaWorld patrons, all shows begin ON TIME. When its says the show is at 2:30, WE MEAN 2:30! GET A FREAKING WATCH!). Since just about everyone here thinks its okay to show up 15 minutes late to a 20 minute show, I had to tell a great number of guests to kindly leave. Most were understanding, but there were a few that were extra upset, one man in particular pulled the "I came all the way from (some remote location) to come here and see this show" bit (really?? I'm sorry patrons but when you pull a line like this for something other than Shamu, I will call bullshit, either way your not getting in).

Among all those upset was one lady in particular, an older woman wheeling what I can assume was her grandson in a stroller....seemed innocent enough, right? The time was 2:32, and doors were closed for the 2:30 show when this lady walks up asking to get in:

Lady: "Can we still get in?"

Me: "I'm sorry Ma'am, the gates are closed and the show has already started, I can't let anyone inside anymore."

Lady: "But its 2:29, we still have time"

Me: "I'm sorry but once the show starts we can't let anyone in." (Lair, its past 2:30, don't pull that shit with me, I check my watch at least 30 times a day, you don't think I know what time it is?!?)

Lady: "This is ridiculous, we just rushed from the dolphins to come see this! When's the next show?"

Me: "Again, I'm sorry to say but this is the last show for today."

Lady: "Oh for the love of God!!!!" (Sorry but not my fault, buy a watch)

.....and out flies the middle finger.

Lady: "This is what I think of you and your god damn show schedule!"

Me: "Have a lovely day, ma'am." (Bitch)

So there you have it, you never can tell how people will take bad news, and I found out the hard way. (Not sure if I can look at my grandparents the same way again...)

Event No. 2: "Nobody Has To Know"

Same show, same situation (minus the Grannie-Flipper). This time it was a shifty lookin' guy who seemed to inch his way up towards me. He asked if he can get in, I said no. He says nothing and stands there, once its just him and me he leans over and says "I'm hardly late at all, can't you just let me in?" Again I say no. He stays there and after tell a few more guests to kindly leave he finally leans over and says "Come on, its just me, no one has to know." I get sick of this guy and lie, saying the gate con only be opened from the inside and even if I wanted to I couldn't get him in. Finally he "leaves," which involves walking quite slowly to the other side of the walkway and standing there, staring at me, as if to see if I let anyone by so he can run in and call me on it. That doesn't happen so after another 10 minutes he walks away. Maybe I should've held out for money....

Event No. 3: After-Show Snack

Its the end of the day and I'm assisting with cleanup after the last shamu show. After the last show the trainers usually let 1 or 2 killer whales stay in the main pool where they casually float about and watch us work. As usual there were a lot of birds around, cause they like to pick off the food thats left on the bleachers or the fish for the whales by the pool. I looked up to see one of the whales against the pool burping up fish and then backing away slowly, after a couple seconds of waiting some birds flew down to take the fish....I already knew what was going to happen. It didn't work the first couple times but I knew it would come, so much so that my lead noticed I stopped cleaning and asked what I was doing (after showing her what was about to go down, she understood and watched with me). After a few trials of burping up fish and hiding underwater, it happened. An innocent, hungry bird walked cautiously up to the fish floating in the water when out of nowhere an even hungrier whale flew out of the water and snap! Dinner time. Animal plant has got nothing on real life, it is probably the craziest/coolest/creepiest thing I will see all summer (if anyone wishes to top this be my guest).

So this was my day today; a slew of events that shook the very fabric of my emotional state. I probably won't ever be the same again, and probably will have many more situations like this throughout the summer. The next time you see me I will have lost what little grasp of sanity I still had (if I had any to begin with). I already despise theme parks, I fear this job has killed any ambition to attend an amusement park on my own free will, because now I believe anyone that is willing to go to one is a complete idiot. I'm going to bed....

play your love gaaaaames with me (do you love me?)

so, i have spent these 10 days in vegas playing a LOT of super smash brothers. not on the wii, no no, on the gamecube. raquel and i? we kick ass. serious ass. also, went to Town Square far too many times. Watched a lot of teen titans. Watched a hell of a lot of Grey's Anatamy. Saw friends. Stayed up until 2am watching Beyonce music videos. Good times. But really glad to leave. I also have a new rule: I am never going to stay in vegas for more than 5 consecutive days. Ever.

and today, i leave for mexico. i am kind of nervous. and excited. i get in at like 5 am, and the buses take us to school at like 7:30. procrastination? psh, god damn excellent timing.

so yes. i am excited. and i get to see gladys. i still don't plan on drinking tequila.

No More Tattoos

I arrived in Las Vegas last night. Again.
My mommy was waiting with a veggie sub from subway. I love her.

I had exactly 3 interactions with my stepmom, which is really really small in comparison to other times. And I physically saw her maaybe 6 times. Do you know how many of those three she informed me of something that made me want to scream? THREE. Because she can't keep her mouth shut. There is no turning her off.

Interaction 1: "Sooo. Let's see the tattoo.... well I like where you put it. Then nobody has to see it unless you're swimming!"

Interaction 2 (On the last day that I'm there): "Sooo Alyssa. There are these three new guys at work. And one of them is reeeeaally gay. Flamboyantly gay. He plucks his eyebrows and wears funny pointed shoes and bright colors like purplesss. And he wants to be my best friend! He doesn't want anything to do with the other two guys. They're on the company softball team, but he just keeps inviting me to the company fitness dance classes. It was really weird at first, but I'm getting used to it. Oh, and he has a mohawk. He doesn't even try to hide anything!" ....My response? "Good for him!" and she stopped.

Interaction 3: "Bye! No more tattoos." and a smile. That's the last thing she said to me as I was hugging her goodbye. Right. Thank you for making that decision for me. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. But now that someone who has no rightful influence on my decisions whatsoever has realized what a horrible mistake I've made, I'll make my choices a lot more carefully. Or better yet just let the church make them. Don't worry guys, I'm fixed again.

Some other numbers:

Number of books read: 2
Number of times I failed at Twister: 3
Number of times my brother JT called something "gay" or "faggot:" 5 that I heard
Number of times I promptly yelled at him: 5
Number of times I was told "Boys will be boys" by my father: more than enough
Number of times I thought about smacking them until they listened to anything anyone said: infinite
Number of times I pinned JT and twisted his arm: 1. He thinks he gets to make whatever decision he wants. And when I am around he is seriously mistaken. I warned him. He didn't believe me. After which, he threw a giant shoe at me, called me a son of a bitch, a fucker, and flipped me off.
Number of times JT got soap in his mouth: 1
Number of times I tried to escape to my uncle's and it didn't work: 3
Number of times I was asked to ride the 4-wheelers: too many
Number of times I got to eat food in the first four days: 3 (and two of those were because I went out with other family)
Number of times they ate fast food in a 7 day period (McD's, Wendy's, KFC, etc.): 4 or 5

Thank you for visiting Utah: Home of the wild pigs and self-righteous chickens

Holy Crap I'm Behind

So i apologize for not visiting the blog. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it I've been very lazy. But I just arrived at Guadalajara last night :) I will put up some stuff i wrote while on the plane and more about my adventures but for the next few days I will spend time trying to catch up with all of yous! Love ya'll!!